Emily Art

I live in iowa. I make art, living life the best i can. besides making art I have pets and boy. i post my art stuff, and a lot of other stuff. political, art, and bullshit.
"certum est quia impossibile ."

"It is certain because it is impossible"

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….

First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”

But here is what I think you should know.

You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.

You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.

You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).

You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.

In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.

In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”

vambrace:

Hey there! So, you may have seen these body pillows around. You may have thought, “Wow, I sure want one of those.” Well good news! I take commissions for these cuddly lil nuggets!

THE SQUIDS:
Each squid is handmade with love from fleece, cotton, and felt, and stuffed with hypoallergenic 100% polyester filling.

SIZES:
Two sizes are available: an 8-foot body pillow, and a 4-foot cuddle buddy or travel pillow.

COLORS:
I can find just about any color, within reason. I am limited by what the fabric store has to offer, but the selection is great, so I can try my hardest to get the exact color you want.

UNDERSIDE PATTERNS:
Again, I am limited by what the fabric store has to offer, but I can find just about any pattern from paisley to polka dots in nearly any color. If you wish, you can request that I choose an underside for you based on the main color you choose.

OTHER OPTIONS:
I can fit the squids with an eye color, if you so desire. If not specified, your squid will come with traditional black and white eyes.
Also, three different highlights are available for your squid: original (photos 4 and 5), circles (photos 6 and 8), or crescent (photo 7). If not specified, your squid will come with original highlights.
Additionally, you may request the firmness of your pillow. There are three firmness options: firm, regular, or what I call squishy. If not specified, your squid will come with regular firmness.

PRICES:
Large squids are $75 (shipping not included) and small squids are $40 (shipping not included). Shipping will be $20 nationwide. International shipping is available, and those shipping prices can be viewed here.

HOW TO ORDER:
It’s easy! Just email me at tentacle.club@gmail.com with the following information:

Color
Underside color and pattern
Size
Shipping Information
Eye color (optional)
Eye highlight (optional)
Firmness (optional)

I will reply to your message with the email address you’ll send money to via PayPal. If you would rather send a check or money order, I will provide you with that information at your request.

OTHER INFO:
Please know that these squids are not made in a pet-free home; if you are allergic to cats please be aware that despite my efforts to keep them away from my cat, he still might have sat on the fabric while I wasn’t looking. Also note that these are made with FLEECE; if you have a fleece allergy, please do not buy these pillows. The filling of the pillows is guaranteed hypoallergenic BY THE COMPANY, NOT BY ME. If it turns out you have an allergy to the stuffing, sue them, not me. I am not responsible for any injuries that happen from your enjoyment with my pillows.

Thank you all so much for the support so far! I hope you consider purchasing one of my squids, I have a 100% satisfaction rate so far. And please, spread the word!

(via pissyeti)

The strong one.

The strong one.

ladyvisenya:

Visenya Targaryen was the older of King Aegon I Targaryen’s sisters. She was also one of his two wives, the other being her sister Rhaenys. During the War of Conquest, she rode her dragon, Vhagar, to battle.

She was a warrior, more comfortable in ringmail than in silk. She wielded the Valyrian steel sword Dark Sister and was described as having a “harsh beauty.[x]>

requested by anon

(via m-e-d-i-e-v-a-l-d-r-e-a-m-s)

Johnnie Phelps, a woman sergeant in the army, thought, “There was a tolerance for lesbianism if they needed you. The battalion I was in was probably about ninety-seven percent lesbian.”
Sergeant Phelps worked for General Eisenhower. Four decades after Eisenhower had defeated the Axis powers, Phelps recalled an extraordinary event. One day, the general told her, “I’m giving you an order to ferret those lesbians out. We’re going to get rid of them.”
“I looked at him and then I looked at his secretary who was standing next to me, and I said, ‘Well, sir, if the general pleases, sir, I’ll be happy to do this investigation for you. But you have to know that the first name on the list will be mine.’ “
“And he was kind of taken aback a bit. And then this women standing next to me said, ‘Sir, if the General pleases, you must be aware that Sergeant Phelp’s name may be second, but mine will be first.”
“Then I looked at him, and said, ‘Sir, you’re right. They’re lesbians in the WAC battalion. And if the general is prepared to replace all the file clerks, all the section commanders, all the drivers-every woman in the WAC detachment-and there were about nine hundred and eighty something of us-then I’ll be happy to make that list. But I think the general should be aware that among those women are the most highly decorated women in the war. There have been no cases of illegal pregnancy. There have been no cases of AWOL. There have been no cases of misconduct. And as a matter of fact, every six months since we’ve been here, the general has awarded us a commendation for meritorious conduct.”
“And he said, ‘Forget the order.’”

The Gay Metropolis, page 47, Charles Kaiser (via bibliothekara)

Phelps tells this story herself in the excellent 1984 documentary Before Stonewall, which you can watch in its entirety on YouTube (she’s at 19:30, but really, watch the whole thing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX7AxQd82H8

(via theodoradove)

(via pourqua)